My Thoughts…

What a day to be sick… The last time I was sick was last year in December… Haha…seems like long time a go but a month plus back… How poor thing…

At least today was fun… went out dinner with Melanie and Dr Kuang… Had some fun there Had been a long time I last had dinner with Melanie which was at Daniel’s place where we did revision together… Had dinnner at section 17 Petaling Jaya… At that time I was feeling cold and I had running nose and slight sorethroat…

After that went to meet two MUFY friends… Hau Wei and Joshua… went to Mont Kiara Starbucks to surf… Unfortunately, I can’t get any signal when inside the building but once outside the signal is full but no power source… Since I have a cold, I went to order myself a cup of their special brewed coffee… How smart I am… Now I have a nose which can’t stop running and the sorethroat is getting worst… Worst still, feeling slightly cold and I don’t know where to find medicine at my aunt’s house
All I can do is rest well and hope I don’t fall ill… Have to wait till day time then I go look for medicine… Need to get for sorethroat and also running nose and some panadol incase Poor me… I need some tender loving care

Have you ever have friends that you have known so long who turn their back to you? Turn their backs to you without a reason and suddenly? Turn their backs to you for they rather hear another person’s words than yours? Listening to a person who isn’t that close to them and believing it when they say they know you better? How painful it feels to be thrown out of your own group of friends due to a new comer who faking her friendliness? Why do such people exist on this planet?

I have been through this situation a few times. I have friends who are two-face. Friends who are manipulative enough to use me. If I fight, I lose it all. My only way out was let go of that group of friends and move on to a new group. After moving on to a new group, that particular friend would come into my new group and it is all back to phase one.

To say I’m lucky is also hard. Those that turn their back on me, some of them actually realise how they are fooled. But for me, I have made a mistake once of accepting them back as good friends but to be betrayed another round. The hurt, the pain that comes with it doesn’t just go off overnight. The pain would be there and it scars you for it would be so hard to trust another person again. It makes you more careful of your friends. Lucky me, I didn’t turn paranoid. I know a person who is so paranoid that issues are created overnight due to his/ her own thinking. Thinking that there is something the other person isn’t happy about when there isn’t.

I was close to depression due to this but I’m happy to say that I have overcome it and move on. It isn’t easy and hard to just forget bout it. It haunts you. Truthfully, I have no confidence with friends I just made. No offense but it is hard to just trust fully that person especially a girl. They are the one I always have problems with. I find hanging out with guys are easier than girls. Maybe due to topic of conversation. So far I’m 100% sure of only one good friend here in KL. Other than her I have 3 other friends back in Taiping. In KL I think the last person I really trust would be 2 years back after i found my so-called “Mummy”.

After that, I can be close to anyone but I can’t fully rely on that person. I can go out and have fun with them. I do believe that they also feel the same for we can hang out but our character and life-style are different. The way we think are also different. So meeting once a while is just nice. When Merlye went to New Zealand, I was lost for she was my cpompanion in uni. A lot approach me to be friends with me when she was away but all end up with me being hurt.

I was an easy target to be manipulated. I’m always used as a driver. But I’m dumb enough to do it till last year. Sometimes I do it for a good cause but since they don’t remember, its okay with me. When you are being manipulated, yo feel being caged for you want to fight it but it isn’t easy. No matter how you try to free yourself, you would end up in deeper troubles. At times, problems which has nothing to do with you would suddenly involve you. I have enough of it. I want to be out of whatever problems there is. I don’t know what they are but I want out. Whoever that doesn’t allow me to, they are one heck of a friend that I don’t think is worth to call them as friend.

Friends are friends but know your limits. You want to care for a person, there are limits too. Don’t overdo it just to make yourself look good. Getting self-pity from friend’s friend to make friend is actually a pity. You get their pity but not respect. For the rest of your life, they would pity you and not respect you. Think that you are helpless and need pity. If a person needs pity to go on in life, it really is pityful. Using all sad issues just to get pity. Once can’t get any pity, start to self-praise themselves that how good they are to a certain friend to win the friendship. If I ever know there is a person like that, i really pity them. And if that person use me like that, sorry la. End of the friendship.

There are so many kind of friends around. I’m glad that I found some that I can really treasure and also rely on. I can say that Merlye has always been there for me even when she is away in New Zealand, Louisa who would go the way for me, my so-called Mummy who is in Malacca now. Louisa is a friend that is hard to find also for I actually lost contact with her for half a year but she came to help me when I was at the lowest time and when my other friends turn their back to me. For now, here in KL i know i can always rely on Merlye and Louisa. Thanks for always being there for me and supporting me.

With this announcement I think I would be killed with a plasma gun used by stitch. But I’m lucky she can’t use it for she forgot to bring it back Hehe… This gal friend of mine is back but going back by mid February. Left 3 weeks before she goes back Then Lilo here would be alone without stitch
Went over to her place on Tuesday. Her dog, Benjamin, is as naughty as always. But playful He was in a moody mood I think. Hehe… Went over chat with her and prepare dinner where I nearly cook her She is a good cook. As usual, very creative At least she didn’t have her taufu that night. She always has taufu each meal
Had some fun fooling her friends who I was their informer on her being back. They didn’t know I was there with her so gave them a shocked when I appear at the mamak session Had a wild time there at the mamak. Her sister, Melanie came along and it was damn crazy. Haven’t had this much fun with her for a long time. Nearly a year she was away At least Melanie would be here to study so she is going to kill me if I teach her lil sis bad things here in Sunway
After that went back her place and continue to chat till I was hungry then we make something to eat Actually I ate more than her But she cook korean noodles for me and her friend who came over. Had more fun talking then once in the bedroom we still talk till heavy rain. Then we both fall asleep till the next morning.

We prepare our breakfast then chat more while waiting for her mum. Her mum sure look younger and slimmer. Look more attractive. Her mum has always been that cool. Miss all the time we share since MUFY But making more memories as years pass by and making our friendship stronger This good friend or can say my so-called sister is no other than Merlye Pan Mei Li The one and only one oh the kind where no one can take over. Haha…

Along the way I made a lot of new friends when she is away but friends like her are hard to find but I found less than 5. So to those who are too perasan who thinks they are the one who care please think again. Those that I found are the ones who would go all the way for me no matter when or where or what shit I am in. The first person I met here in KL is Merlye

Decided to clear my things since new year coming. Since I move in 2 years back, I haven’t unpack my things. Today I found so many A4 papers to be used and other stuff. Worst, I found RM85 worth of RM1 coins. How unfortunate Have to try luck to see can clear it off.

Clearing all my things and give away those that i don’t use. Hehe… I find that I keep a lot of sentimental things. All are hard to part And I have more to come still
All the cleaning sure make a person bored. Lucky me, the highlight of it is having durian break Yup… my mum bought durians And they smell damn good and taste good. There are a few which are seedless
There are still a lot to do Hopefully can clear all and donate what I don’t need to have better luck and karma

What a day today!!! Aunty was looking at new cars and I was ask to tag along as long I don’t have anything on. Went along since it wasn’t time for my appointment which later was delayed due to telephone problem. My phone ran out of battery. How come? I was too busy snapping pictures till I forgot it was low in battery. At least I manage to snap what I wanted.

Isn’t it cool. Yup..it is a Lambogmini Gallardo which worth RM1555000. But it is damn cool. I nearly fainted there. There were other cars like Ferarri, Mecedez-Benz where the SLK’s are beautiful, BMW M5 was stylor, Misthubishi Evo 7 which is my dream car since a Lambogini is not reachable, Mazda RX-8, Nissan Skyline and Porche. There are more cars but not that interesting. This are the few that excites me.

I’m lucky I manage to have a close uplook at this beautiful cars. Once seen this cars, I don’t think a person could ever go back to their car but imagine they own their dream car which are all in display. Wonder when I get a chance to ride in either one of it. Unfortunately I prefer the Lambogmini first

It is sad to see that the crime rate is increasing so fast. Worst, in small towns. Before this, in Taiping is a peaceful town or so called peaceful. The name was taken from a chinese word. The meaning of Taiping has something to do with peaceful. But what have become of Taiping?

I remembered 5 to 6 years back, there was this case on snatch thief. The victim was my friend’s friend’s mother. The thief was on a motorcycle when the handbag was snatch. The victim didn’t let go of the bag but put up a fight. Instead she was drag along the road. She died in the incident. It was reported in the newspaper. How can such violent thing happen at a small town?

It is sad that the thiefs nowadays turn to areas like churches to rob. Of all places, a religion place. Before this, a thief was daring enough to go into the church compound and attack a volunteer there in church. The thief snatch her gold necklace. All this happen in the church compound. Such crime done in front of God. How horrible.

At first, this wouldn’t bother me much but my dad’s car and some of my parent’s friend’s car was broken in and it happened at the church area. Since the compound is full, other cars park along the road outside the church near my high school. So happen today, the whole row of cars, including my dad’s car, all the passenger seat windows were broken and things in the car was searched. They were looking for valueables or cash. According to some church members, this happened on Christmas day also. What are this thieves thinking? Doing such things and target on religion area to rob them.

It is so sad to see such things happen. It also anger me that there are people who has the nerve to rob outside the church. I wonder how safe are we nowadays. It is getting more and more dangerous each day. All I wish for is peace on earth and that there isn’t so many crimes like this happening. On the others hand, it is our duty to help keep peace on earth. Hope we would cooperate and make the world a better place. Remember Michael Jackson song, Heal the World.

I’m a crazy fan of Gundam. Don’t ask me how come. Hehehe… I love Athrun Zala and Kira Yamato. They are both so cute. They fight to prevent war. All they want is peace and not fight but was forced to fight when they do not want to fight.

I find that this anime actually carries a message to the world. In this world, we are all different from one another. Each have our own uniqueness. Each of us have our own believes and principles. But how come there is still war? Why isn’t the world as peaceful as how it was last time. Maybe I’m naive but why? Power? Is it due to power hunger? Power to dominate others? When Tsunami strike, all nations come together to help one another. But after that, all was forgotten and there is still fights going on.

Maybe I’m too naive to understand how the world politics go. But this happens among us with people we know. With our family. With our friends. Why does it happen? I also don’t know. Maybe I think too much that this comes to mind. I don’t know. I believe we are who we are and what is important is how we see ourselve and how we bring ourselves around people. Other than that, it is beyond our control. If people want to talk bout us, whether it is good or bad, we can’t stop them. They have the right to talk.

How I wish there is peace among everyone. All this stress a lot of people. It doesn’t matter if you are part of the problem or not part of it, you would be affected by it. Imagine, one country is having war with another country. Even we don’t leave there, the sufferings there in that country affects us indirectly.

How I wish for world peace and peace among mankind. That’s why I think that Gundam has a message on world peace and peace between 2 friends or more. Hehe…

The bladdy hostel guard is getting on my nerves. Not to be racies but there is this Indian guard who is old who love to give hell to me. At first, he took my hostel card for I came back pass 1am on a public holiday. Fine. I let him take only. By right he can’t but he bladdy don’t let me in. The rules state that on the eve of public holiday, curfew is at 3am. I came back at 1am which was still early and he took my card. Fine.

Went to hostel master to take my ID back since he say take it back the next day. Went there but can’t find my card. Have to wait. I wasn’t around that time so I let it be. When I come back, I thought at least my card is there. Unfortunately, it wasn’t there. Have to go to security office to get it. I went there and they don’t have it. I sat there like an hour plus and they can’t find. They say that the last time a card was taken away was 2 months back but mine was taken like 2 weeks back. They call the guard to come but I’m not sure if that is the guy for he dyed his hair. So I can’t really recognise him. Doesn’t matter. Don’t want to cause trouble. So told the guard I can’t remember his face.

I thank the head guard then went back to hostel master who just decided to make a new one. The very next day, the guards called to tell hostel master that they found my card. Bastard guard. If I didn’t make that guard being called upon, I think I won’t get my card back. After that incident, the guard daren’t look at me at all. Smart.

I came back last Thursday and wanted to pick Shirley from inside. It was visiting hour. I arrived at 8pm at gate E. The gate near to the cafeteria. I was stopped and wasn’t allowed in. Guess who was the guard? Yes, the same bladdy hell guard that hold on to my hostel ID. I told the guard I’m hostelline. He refuse to let me in. He say that my car no sticker and I’m going to sneak my car in. What the f**k! I was to pick a friend. It is visiting hour also. Why does he not let me in. If I don’t have sticker, I can go in and the next day get sticker. It is normal. But this one make so many assumption. Say such things. Claim that I would fool him. Say that he hold on to my card and I can go in. I was like, What the f**k! I stayed outside and waited for Shirley to come out. To show that bladdy son of the bitch guard that I’m only picking my friend.

Today when I went to uni to run errands, the other guard didn’t stop me. Let me in once I show my hostel ID. It wasn’t visiting hour also. I wonder what is the hell wrong with that bladdy guard. F**k that guard la! Cause trouble. He should be fired. I did nothing to provoke him and I get hell for no reason and he misused his power. Tell him go die or quit. If not I sure make his life living hell. I will send in complain letter after complain letter about him each time he give me problem. See how long he can last there. I have witness each time he pick on me unfairly. Wait and see.

Goodbye 2005 and welcome 2006!!! It’s only been a day but the new year still the same. Nothing different happen like how I used to feel when I was younger. All seems the same to me other than growing older.

Plans for the new year was held in two location. One was with Senan and friends and Rajiv and friends. Senan had a BBQ at his place. It was fun especially when I get to make King cook and bully him a bit. Since I can’t bully anyone there other than King. Senan has Guoy and Rajiv and Kah Wai and lots more to back him up in teasing me
After that was at Rajiv place where we have all our PC’s hook up together and play counter-strike there. We have a lot of bottles and also beers but we didn’t drink much at all. Furthermore I don’t get to drink there. Luckily, I manage to have some when at Senan’s place. Had some wine and Chivas. Thank you King for the Chivas
There was fireworks there. How I wanted to watch it for it gives me a feeling that is hard to describe. It is an amazing feeling. A magical feeling. After that, we chat, chill and drink there. Counter strike session was on also but it wasn’t as fun as it was at the cyber-cafe. Went to mamak for supper later then continue counter strike.

Later in the day, we have lunch when it was lunch. Then all went back to sleep till dinner meet up and makan. After dinner was supper then continue counter-strike at Mmoph, cyber-cafe at SS2
That is how the first day of a new year is spent. Rajiv is hoping to have a a celebration for a new month. That way all would go broke faster