My Thoughts…

A lot of people only think that relationship is the only thing that need maintenance. Have it occur to you that to maintain a friendship, maintenance is needed? I think some of us think it is stupid but for me I think it is true that friendship too need maintenance. We can say we care for a person but our actions doesn’t show. We can say we care and not show it but it somehow would effect us. When do you stop caring? It’s when you use the word “I do not care anything other than myself”. i know that sounds selfish but that is how a person stop caring or bother bout you.

I remember my aunt telling me. If you really want to keep a friend, you have to maintain it. No matter how busy you are, you have to maintain it. Maybe can’t met often but ocassionally call eash other for a drinkor just go out. If you can’t even do that, how are you to maintain the friendship? If that friend is worth a friend, you would just find time to just go out and try to be there if you can when they need you. If you can’t, don’t push yourself for they would understand how come you can’t be there at the moment.

If it is a friend who cause you more stress and unhappiness, do you want to maintain it just for the sake of not losing a friend? If you can’t mix with some friends who has their own thinking which wants you to follow, do you force yourself to be with them? Different people has their own view and they do not necessary be the same. If you can’t respect each others point of view but want the other to follow the way you think only, isn’t it the best to move away.

We have the right to choose our friends. Those who are our friends, no matter what they say bout you, they know who to believe. No one can influence the other to like or dislike another. In this world there are people who likes and dislikes you. There isn’t a single human that can make everyone likes them. If there is anyone who want to prove this point wrong, they can but all they would have is self misery for they are only hurting themselves. I been there and do not want to be there again.

There are a lot of things to a friendship. Its not just bout caring. Its bout respect, communicating, consideration, exchange of views, and lots more. They are the one that helps us to mature aside from our parents. As we can see, different age group have different way of showing their friendship. In kindergarden, we can influence others on who to friends and who not to. But as we grow older, we know how to decide on our own and decide on our own. We might break into different groups but still can be friends. It will be childish if we act like the kindergarden when we are young adults. The kindergarden who acts like young adults would be respected for they can think in a mature way.

“It Takes Two Hands to Clap”. We have to remember this. When a friendship is thrown away, it isn’t ones foult but two. As long things can’t work out it is best to let it go. It isn’t a persons fault. As they say, “You point at people with a finger but we are pointing back at ourself with four fingers.” Shows that who we blame we are at most the one to take the blame. Anything goes wrong, ask ourself where is the problem before pointing fingers. Once you found the main reason, you can find it connects back to everything else.

I was eating lunch and watching this Korean Drama which I like. It called “Into The Sun”. It makes me wonder. There is this scene where the girl lost her father. Have we thought if we have giving enough to make our parents happy? What are we to do if suddenly we lost our parents? Have it occur to you that our parents can’t life forever. One day when the time comes they would leave us? I fear that moment most. I do not think I have spend enough time with them still. Espesially recently where I’m busy preparing for my exams and also finishing all the unfnish assignments.

The other scary thought is if I have given enough to make them happy before I die. I too do not know when my time would come. When it come, have I fulfill the things I want to do? I know there are a lot more that I want to do. Lately with all the work, I haven’t given much thought of myself. I haven’t been eating healthy. Dinner, I’m too lazy to go out if there isn’t anyone wo eat with. I just make a simple dinner out of maggi mee. It saves time then go out and take away then come back. I don’t like to go out and eat alone. Unless I’m there to study. That’s a different case. What can I do?

Free time is hard to come by. At least I know I have considerate friends that is understanding but I do too have inconsiderate friends who pretend they care but they don’t really bother. As long they can have fun, they don’t care. If there are complains from other people, it is natural for them to blame others bout it. Life is short so will make full out of it. I’m not sure if I have heart problem or not since I haven’t been for check-up yet since I was ask to do one. I haven’t got the time. With exams coming, the shortness of breathe comes ocassionally due to overwork. Hopefully nothing bad happen to me till I check on my own health.

Have it ever occur to you that you have taken advantage of a lot of matters? Its normal for humans to take things for granted and expect everything to come either easily or have things happen the way you want it. When it doesn’t, our first reaction is to blame others and not ourselves. How come? We would ask why this happen? Isn’t it suppose to be like how we want it to be? How can it be different from what we want? Life is like a sea, where there are times it is calm and times it is rough. We have to go through ups and downs in life to mature and be stronger. But there isn’t anyone that is stronger than the other. All have their own strenghts and weaknesses which we have to accept to have harmony with ourselves.

Many of us take life for granted for everything seems to go along the way we want it to be. When we meet an obstacle, we won’t accpet it and choose to hide or run away from it. But what happens next? It would always appear back in front of us. As long we run, we won’t be free from it till we face the problem. Most of the time, the problem lies within us and not others. It is always an easy option to push the blame on innocent others. But others can see it clearer as who is the main cause. If you are the only one who has that problem, then the problem lies within you. If all have the same problem as you, then the problem is not within you but with others as well.

We are considered lucky to be born after independence. Some of our parents suffer during those days. They work hard to ensure we have a better life than them. But how often we took advantage of them? What we want they would give to us. But have we thought about them too? We keep taking but not returning. We took them for granted that they would give in to us if we have a good reason for it. But have we thought the burden they have to carry when they agree to give us someting that they have to bear the cost for? An example, we ask for a car. How is the one that maintain it? They are the one. Do they have their means of transportation if we take theirs? They can buy new one. But who is going to pay the down-payment and then pay for the new car? They are the one who has to work harder to pay back the loan used to buy the car.

I know I’m lucky that my parents gave me a car to move about. But their main reason if for me to learn the responsibility for having a car and maintaining it. The money would be from them still but to learn the cost of maintaining and the cost of using it. Have to learn to be wise in the cost use for the car. I’m lucky for there is an extra car for me to use. Not everyone has a car for their own used. They share with their parents and it isn’t nice if we hog the car when our parents need the car most. Unless we are working and we have money to buy a new car to give to our parents to use.

Have we thought of how hard our parents work to earn the money to give us a better living and a good education? I know that my parents are working very hard and they are getting old. All I can think is myself only. Thinking of doing Masters when I finish. Thinking of taking other courses that will help me in future. I never think of where the cost would come from but hope that my parents would support me if I can’t find the money to study. But there are some who just can’t care less about how hard their parents suffer to gain the money. Even the parents stress to them, it just don’t have the effect. At least I talk it with my parents bout my future plan and they approve it and told me not to worry for they would help me pay the fees if I need help. I have decided to work as I do my Master. I’m also looking for online courses which don’t have to pay for classes but study on our own and pay to take the exams only.

Sometimes we have to stop thinking of ourselves too much and think of our love ones. I know they would struggle to make ends meet so that we are happy but don’t overdo it that it is hurting them silently. They won’t let us know that they are hurt but we can see from their faces. I cried when I know how much pain and disappointment I have cause them. But they are still supporting me. They let their pain out through scolding me and I feel better that they let it out. I would do better. Their endless support is the one that pushes me futher. The pain that I felt most is not by disappointing them but myself for I have hurt them badly. Now I’m making it up to them. Hopefully I can push away the disappointment they had once.

Have you heard the phrase ‘Never Judge A Book From Its Cover”? There are times what we see is what we get and sometimes what we see is different from who they really are. A lot of us would not show who we really are till you get to know them better. There are times where you get to know them better, the more you see who they really are and it is the total opposite of what attracts you to get to know them better.

First impression is always important. Normally some who likes to be known as perfect or a good person would try their best to impress everyone to gain more friends. But along the way, they lose some for when they become their true self, some will feel that they are deceived. But one thing that they are gifted is they have sweet mouth to try to gain your friendship. They would make themselves seem the best no matter how and put the blame on others.

I have a friend who is still my friend. The first impression of her was she is a goody goody person. The one that obey rules and innocent. Unfortunately, when I get to know her better, she is the same as me. Her parents are the ones that are look up upon so she have to behave when she is out with her parents. So happen when I saw her one day in church, I told my dad bout her and my dad was like, that’s my friend. I was wondering who is he refering to. It seems that her dad and my dad were good friends since they were in Penang Free School. There were dom mates. They lost contatct but they feel so happy to meet each other again. From then, they kept contact and me and her became good friends. We are continuing our parents friendship. We have build a new one that would go a long way. When we have kids, we would continue this tradition our dads have started. Elizabeth, if you are reading this, I think you would laugh. Hehe…

After my Java finals, I went out for drinks in Hartamas since Wei Hong gave me the invitation. Wahahaha…Wei Hong reachedhis target of 10 jugs of beer. He then change it to 15 jugs which he didn’t manage to reach. Had my usual. One cup of Baileys, then jack Daniels with coke then one and a half cup of beer. That was ok for me. If I drink another half cup of beer, I’m sure to be in trouble for I’m driving. Luckily I stop.

All was cool other than a few who were high but Maurice (sorry Maurice), he puke. He had too much I think. But according to Dr Neal (so-called doctor in this case), he shouldn’t have eaten rice before he drink. I do not know how it make sense for this. After the drinks, we were all in the mamak before going home. Was full of laughters and fun. Hehe…

“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing your game!” Haha…I’m not going to let my fear and be quiet anymore. I’m going to take action. Wahahaha…Going to make the first move and not let fear get in my way. If not I would forever lose to fear. I’m going to be brave to face fear. If I let fear control me, I would forever let fear take over my destiny. Going to take destiny on my own and not let fear keep me away. Going to be brave to move on ^o^

I manage to overcome my fear of programming. So I can go far ^o^ It isn’t as hard as I thought it was for I let fear take over. Now I’m going to overcome it and take that Java practical finals and not let fear keep me from getting the results I aim to get. I just need to be cool. Hehe….Then the next step with others also ^o^ Yeah! Watch out fear! I’m not going to let you control my destiny!

Hahaha…Meant to be a stupid blog of mind since I’m a bit in a crazy mood before my paper ^o^ I know the title would mislead everyone. Wahahaha….that’s the whole point of releasing stress ^o^

Quotes that I find interesting from a website…

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. -Albert Einstein-

How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? -Albert Einstein-

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all. -Alfred Tennyson-

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. -Allan K. Chalmers-

Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage. -Ambrose Bierce-

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. -Amy Bloom-

Love is a choice you make from moment to moment. -Barbara De Angelis-

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8

All love that has not friendship for its base, Is like a mansion built upon the sand. -Ella Wheeler Wilcox-

We need not think alike to love alike. -Francis David-

Love doesn’t make the world go ’round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile. -Franklin P. Jones-

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. -Friedrich Nietzsche-

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. -George Sand-

There is no remedy for love but to love more. -Henry David Thoreau-

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend. -Martin Luther King, Jr.-

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. -Pearl Bailey-

A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love. –Pearl S. Buck-

Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. -St. Augustine-

My words of Wisdoms on Luv… — 1 year ago (quoted from a website)

Was reading from TNP’s article (15 May 2006)… on this famous Indian female writer, Shobhaa De on her bestseller;
Spouse: The truth about marriage;

Her words of wisdom on marriage..

- Marry for love, by all means, But do not jump into it

- There’s cant be two “bosses” in a relationship, Learn to compromise.

- Marry for the right reasons, not because you think your time is running out or all your friends are married.

Her writings inspired me to have my own list of words of wisdoms on luv;

- Learn to love yourself, before you can learn to love others

- Live for yourself, not for anyone

- It’s take two to be commit “To have & hold, in sickness or in health, in riches or poor, to love each other forever”

- Fall in love for the right reasons, not becoz you want someone just for companionship on a weekend nite out.

- There’s no perfect partner for you, coz U are not one yourself either.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one, which has been opened for us.

Don’t go for looks; they can deceive.
Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of EVERYTHING; they just make the MOST of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Don’t count the years-count the memories………..
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take.

Refering to the story that Su Ann posted. A child’s finger were amputated for it was pulped by his father. It was a punishment for denting his shiny paint of his truck. It is sad that in his rage he did it and regret it when he cool down. It is hard for him to accept what he did to his own son that he commited suicide. How could a father who love his son have done such a cruel thing? The truck as said can be repaired but the broken bones and feelings can’t. How can you mend a broken heart. There are times it would heal through time but the scar would forever be there.

For us, relationship, the hurt we feel from a break-up can be recover as we move on. But there are some hurt that isn’t easy to overcome. The pain you feel when your trust was broken. You broke up for you were betrayed. These are the feelings that isn’t easy to forget for it had scared the person’s heart.

This could also happen among friends. There are time when you might have hurt a friends feeling without knowing. Those that hurt unintentionally can be forgiven. But what about those who know you are hurting but just don’t care? Would there be a time when you would have overdone it and have cause a scar to them? There are many times we take our friends for granted. We expect them to forgive us unconditionally but for how long? If it is always, are we to let them step over our head and be hurt continously?

There is a saying which say that forgiveness is the purest thing a human can do. It isn’t easy to forgive a person. Normally all this would cause hatred and revenge more. But in the end, who is the one at lost? The one who is hurted or the one who cause hurt? It’s up to us to decide which one we are. Another saying,”Don’t point finger at others for there are four fingers pointing back at yourself.” If there is anything wrong, start with our ownself before we place the blame on others for normally, every problems start from our own and is made huge by ourself to gain attention and pity.

It takes two hands to clap so its the same for problems. We have problems with ourself but we connect the problem with others to make it bigger. In this process, there are times we hurt innocent people who knows nothing on what is happening. Its normal for we humans are too ego to admit our mistakes for we want to be better than the other. We want to be the perfect one that we forgot that no one is perfect. Everyone have their own weaknesses and gains that makes them who they are. We just have to learn to accept it and improve on our weaknesses.