My Thoughts…

This was from an email send by Su Ann ^_^

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer was obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to
touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the
Physician, the King ‘ s chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick
readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little
bit into the Queen ‘ s brassiere while she bathed.

Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King quickly summoned Nick. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen ‘ s voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen ‘ s itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins.

With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn ‘ t have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King ‘ s underwear.
The King immediately summoned Nick.

The moral of the story - Pay your bills

Hi you might had seen this B4 but nevertheless it’s good to read again.

$20.00!
Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by

holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked,

"Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you

but first, let me do this.

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"

And he dropped it on the ground

and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it

because it did not decrease in value.

It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives,

we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt

by the decisions we make and

the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or

what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,

you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know,

but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE.

You are special - Don’t EVER forget it."

If you do not pass this on, you may never know the

lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to,

or the hope that it can bring.

Count your blessings, not your problems.

"And remember: amateurs built the ark ..

professionals built the Titanic.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

This is from an email send by Su Ann. Hope this article would be as meaningful to you as it is to me ^_^
***********************************************************************************

Taken from The Practical Guide to Personal Freedom,
The technnique has claimed to be a crucial and helpful tool in helping us live much happier and more effective.
***************************************************************************

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

FIRST
Be Impeccable with  your word
- brings self trust & trust, self esteem, clarity

SECOND
Don’t take anything personally
- remove the ‘Have To’ attitude

THIRD
Don’t make assumptions
- Saves anxiety and confronts considerations and victim stories

FOURTH
Always to your best
- living in excellence is a habit that will change your life only for the better

by Don Miguel Ruiz

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up.”
“That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?”
“Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.”

—————————————–

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
“How do you know what to say?” he asked.
“Why, God tells me.”
“Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?”

——————————————-

A little girl became restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
“Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”

————————————————–

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle’s picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
“The Flight to Egypt ,” was his reply .
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, “That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who’s the fourth person?”
“Oh, that’s Pontius - the pilot!”

——————————————–

A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, “I descend into hell!”
A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop from view.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, “I descend into hell!” the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:
“Hallelujah! Hell is full!”

————————————————
This is the best one.

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alter nately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, “Grandpa, did God make you?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” he answered, “God made me a long time ago.”
“Oh,” she paused, “grandpa, did God make me too?”
“Yes, indeed, honey,” he said, “God made you just a little while ago.”
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t he ?”

This was taken from a mail from Su Ann ^_^

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.

They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, “Oh no, its so late, my wifes going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?” She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. Where the hell have you been?” “Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the
vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.” “Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!” She sees his hands are covered with powder and… “You God damn liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!”

Moral of the story:
Always tell your wife the truth. She wont believe you anyway. At least your conscience is clear

Do you really understand what is behind the word FAMILY? It gives me a
shock when I know the answer. So long I never realize I don’t know the
real meaning of FAMILY…..Here Is The Answer……….
     (F)ather
     (A)nd
     (M)other
     (I)
     (L)ove
     (Y)ou

Why does a man want to have a WIFE? Because:
     (W)ashing
     (I)roning
     (F)ood
     (E)ntertainment

Why does a woman want to have a HUSBAND? Because:
     (H)ousing
     (U)nderstanding
     (S)haring
     (B)uying
     (A)nd
     (N)ever
     (D)emanding

Do you know that a simple HELLO can be a sweet one?
Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from the
boyfriend/girlfriend). The word HELLO means:
     (H)ow are you?
     (E)verything all right?
     (L)ike to hear from you
     (L)ove to see you soon!
     (O)bviously, I miss you ..

They Walk Among Us…

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, “has your plane arrived yet? ” . . .
They Walk Among Us!

=========

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old, still working fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: “Free to good home. You want it, you take it”. For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: “Fridge for sale $50″. The next day someone stole it. Caution …
They Walk Among Us

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, “Does the sun rise in the North?”
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.”
They Walk Among Us!

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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week.” He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?”
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific” . . . . . .
They Walk Among Us!

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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but “didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving”. . .
They Walk Among Us!

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk . . . .
They Walk Among Us!

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My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us!

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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, “Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned her head?” I explained that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned
They Walk Among Us!

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While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
They Walk Among Us!

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They walk among us, and what’s scarey is that they reproduce!